A folk singer named John McCutcheon is in the habit of co-writing songs. In the case of
the following song, McCutcheon used a famous collaborator: George W. Bush. The following
lyrics are verbatim, merely reassembled so that they rhyme. The song can be found on a CD
entitled "Fish Out of Water 3," a promotion of WMNF-FM community radio.
Well, I was born in west Texas, pretty near California,
Far away from Dad�s home in D.C.
Well, I�m talking about myself, and they�re talking about myself,
All of us are talking about me.
Now, some may retort, �Personal attacks.�
Take the high horse and claim the low road.
But I am not a revengeful person;
I�ll simply respond with this ode.
When I delivered the State of the Budget address,
I offered up a question or two.
How can a man still put food on his family?
Will the toll booth to the middle class become more few?
No, it�s time to make the pie higher.
This idea is sure to resignate.
This is no time to be subliminable �
It�s time to unificate.
You see, when there�s more trade, there�s more commerce,
And we�ll bring this solution to an end �
Even if your business is hispanically owned,
Whether you speak French or Mexican.
We�re working for a hopefuller country,
No longer balkanized.
Where humans and fish can coexist,
And each act civilized.
I think we can all agree that the past is over,
But still we�re held hostile everywhere.
These days we don�t know who they are,
But we certainly know that they�re there.
No longer inoculated by the mistakes of the past,
With a foreign-handed foreign policy,
We�ll keep good relations with Kosovoans and Grecians,
And avoid emotionality.
Now, we all know that reading is the basics of learning,
And learning . . . well, I forget the rest.
But teach a child to read and he or her
Will pass a literacy test.
So I ask you, is our children learning?
Will we tolerate failed subsidization?
Or will this be where wings take dream
And not a cufflink of federalization?
So if you�re tired of the politics of polls and principles,
It�s time that you joined his campaign.
See, we�re looking for women who will serve this country,
And never the House will they stain.
With our basics as the faith of our faith,
Where a troop can house his family,
We�ll find power to power the power of the power plants.
No, you�d best not misunderestimate me.
With every word and every breath
Our language dies a slow, sad death.
Hail to the chief, let�s give him hail �
Part Yogi Berra, part Dan Quayle.